The Lyceum

Still… not.

Still not sleeping at the right time, which has caused some missed classes.  I’m never at that 10pm-6am or 12-8am groove that would work out well and allow me a full day to utilize.

I’m up at night.  Doing nothing in particular.  Alone.  Reclusive.  Maybe a little nuts!  Tonight for sure I’m on a neuro kick from hell.   Hit a thought pattern recently and as it goes through me more and more over a few days, something painfully sticks out.

The past two to three years have been… pretty much linear.  I’ve had no major, I fell out of my vegetarian thing quickly, demotivated myself from physical activity like I was doing in college…   In the past couple months I’ve completely neglected a gym membership.

I just stick with all this bad, and I’m not changing.  I can’t remember certain things through the past few years because the days just blur together.

I need to tell the computer to fuck off.

I need to play all these videogames I bought with every dollar I earned working.

I need to use marijuana far far far less.  Cutting it out completely would be great, but it’s just the one thing in my life that I feel didn’t damage me as much as I damaged myself by pushing it.

I need a reality check.  That’s what I’m going for pretty soon.  I’m going to stop my torrents.  I’m going to actually make my computer turn off after a brief period of non-use, to dissuade me from this always-on the internet bullshit.

Well..  that’s about it. 

A sudden large crack in the foundation

Ever watch a movie that shakes the very substance of your consciousness?  It’s almost exhilarating but almost dreadful.  It’s one of those feelings I can’t really express with any certainty that my description will be understood, because it’s such a fleeting feeling that I can hardly begin to understand myself.  How is one supposed to decribe this type of thing accurately and precisely?

I feel the need for change.  It beckons me stronger than I’ve ever felt it before. 

Sleep, and the abnormal practice thereof

So I took a Biology exam today, and despite being pretty much amazing in the class and able to retain most information given through the lectures, this test was different from the others.  For the first time this semester, he used different terminology in the exam than he did in lecture.  What was once photorespiration had become dessication.  What was once respiration of a glucose molecule became its oxidation.  It was a case of confusing synonyms, which despite being easily overcome, were completely out of character for this professor, at least in comparison to his earlier tests, which were filled with familiar terms he had been using in class.  Regardless, I feel I conquered my adversary.

On to the titlesake discussion.  After this test, I met with my parents for some delicious tex-mex and then we absconded to the domicile.  It was here where I basically passed out for eight straight hours.  I wasn’t even tired, but I would have been unable to tell you otherwise due to unconsciousness.  My plans to visit the gym were ruined, and now I’m sure I’ve thrown a wrench into the gears of my normal circadian rhythms.  I should at least be able to manage the rest of my school week and try and get back on a normal sleep ledger by Monday.

I’m rather excited for the next couple of days.  I’ve purchased Mario Galaxy and played through the first two bosses worth of the game and I must say it’s an amazing experience.  Rock Band is coming out soon and I’m pretty much filling my pants area with ejaculate in anticipation.  Regardless of this new awesome game and another on the horizon, I’m delving backwards into the games that I KNOW are good but I didn’t bother putting any time into actually playing.  Bioshock, I neglect you no longer.

 “Those who never make mistakes, never try anything new.” —Albert Einstein

Procrastination and Responsibility

So I honestly can’t tell if I’m wired strangely or what, but I seriously think I may have some kind of mild A.D.D.   For some reason I can’t focus on something until the last second, and it’s only gotten worse as I go along.

 Being organized in life makes sense to me, but for some reason I guess it doesn’t because I just don’t do it despite clearly seeing an advantage to it.

 What’s up with that?  Psychologists help please.

Here’s to getting all my assignments done at the expense of sleep and sanity.  A test on Wednesday, a paper in a week that I can’t comprehend writing at this point.  I’m pretty much going at my usual pace though, and somehow I’ve been pulling it off so far.

 Sleep easy.

The Gym

For the first time in my life I’m actually exercising to exercise.  That’s a good thing.  A really good thing for me.  I’m 21, I should be in really good shape if I want to last in this world, dammit.

 Anyway, being the observational person I am, the gym is amusing 90% of the time.  The guys who spend the entire time watching themselves in the mirror are funny.  The ones that make ridiculous noises as they lift are also funny, and you don’t even have to be looking at them.  The women who just sit on the exercise bikes and never take their eyes off the soap operas.  (That’s a new one, I usually go later)

 Last but not least, anytime an attractive female goes anywhere, I’m pretty sure a lot of the guys will pick a machine near her just hoping she wants to blow them or something.  It’s pretty much hilarious.  Come on, guys… she’s here to exercise, not pick up lame meatheads.

Eh, though there’s a chance she’s there to pick up lame meatheads.  Anyway, here’s to burning fat and gaining muscle and making progress on this thing called life.  Later guys. 

how do we know?

That is the question that goes with everything these days.  How do we know that’s the right answer?  How do we know we can trust this?

Don’t look to me for the answers.  This is for me to spill my brain.